- *RoYaLtY LiFe*

Friday, May 26, 2006
5:28 PM

i've got nthing to say..
im juz nt the me anymore..
i miss the old me.. the talkative, cheerful, happy-go-lucky gal...

tt was supposed to be me.. the right me...
before all these happened...

i hate your appearance in my life...
if u didnt appear, everything was perfect...

i rather i was alone all these 2 years rather than suffer now...
this lesson is too much for me to handle...

u didnt even realise you were in the wrong..
im waiting to see your downfall..
tts the onli way i will feel satisfied..

cos its so unfair, juz so unfair...
y my life turns out to be like this,
and you can be out there enjoying!!!

i hate the world for being so unfair!
when will your retribution comes???
i will be waiting for tt day..

if nt for ur mum, how i wish u were juz off dead...
yes, maybe im too extreme or cruel..
but tts cos im juz too hurt..

it left a mark on my heart, mind and memory...
time may heal but it can NEVER erase all those...

i can never forget how u lied to me...
a person known for 2 years juz turn out to become a pack of lies!

u enjoyed your life on the expense of the pain on me..

i cant even have a good nite sleep each day...
im even afraid of sleeping now..
cos dreams juz come in...
dreams i dun even wan...

y are u bugging me even in my dreams...

siping asked me to take it slowly...
one day by one day...
one day i will get over this..
but the hurt is already inflicted..

now i dun even noe to trust who..
cos i can always never detect lies....

now, i dun even noe telling ur mum was a right choice..
but she did have the rights to noe...

i heard her crying over the phone...
i was heartbroken...
i hurt her...
but siping said its ur actions tt hurt her..
if u nv done all those, this wouldnt even have happened...

she was juz like a mum to me...
i dun wan to see her like tt too
she blames herself...
no, it totally have nthing to do with her...
its all ur fault..

u caused the pain in both of us..
u lied to me,
her,
ur mum,
ur sis..

who noes who else u lied to...
isnt lying a terrible process...
then y do you still have to do this to everyone...

when will ur fake mask fall off???
i thought i knew you enough for 2 yrs...
but now i noe i never did...
maybe even ur family never did..
and perhaps no one did..

cos you were pretending all these while...
u cheated everyone...

happy u got a nice life now??
let me tell you,
it wont last...
retribution returns...
u will get something bad to return those for wat you did...

karma...
i believed...
im cursing you even till today...
you will never be happy...
all the people around you will juz leave you one by one..
leaving you alone..
with no one to turn to...

one day i hope i will see you being ruined in the streets..
i will never pity you...
cos up till now, you dun even realise your mistakes..
you dun even think you hurt me...

and instead you turned everything back to me..
yes.. go tell lies and stories to people again...

i wont be bothered...
for i hope those who knows me really knows me...
im nt tt kind of person..

ppl may think im saying all these is cos i cant accept the fact..
no! its definitely nt tt way...
is cos you hurt me...
more than enough!

each and every single day now,
i tell myself you can never hurt me anymore..
i muz protect myself...
dun ever let you hurt me again...

but whenever im alone,
those thoughts juz overwhelm me...
leaving me heartpain...

this pain will never fade...
this lesson is too expensive...
too painful...

i was juz too foolish in the past..
i brought all this upon myself...

god, i beg you...
juz let me forget...
take those memories away..
im willing to give up anything juz to take those memories away...

at least i will be happy again...
all i ask for is so simple..
y cant you juz give it to me??
i juz wan happiness and peace...

i dun wan to remain like this...
i hate myself for this...

i've seen through a person true colours..
wat more do you wan from me???

let me go... or take me away...

..250 thousand years of waiting..